“But My Boyfriend Does It Too” How Romantic Partners Influence Female AddictionOctober 9, 2018 - Addiction - 0 Comments
Addiction and drug abuse is a problem that often plagues many romantic situations for women. For example, a husband or boyfriend may start abusing benzos and alcohol and influence his wife or girlfriend to do the same. This situation happens all over the world every day and is a scary one. It’s not that men are cruel or trying to hurt their female companions. In fact, there is a good chance that many of these women start doing drugs alongside their partner without any pressure.
Unfortunately, this often creates a complicated cycle of abuse from which it can be hard for either partner to escape. Physical and mental abuse may occur between them and cause problems with mental health as diverse as PTSD, trauma, anxiety, and depression. Recovery from addiction can further be derailed if both partners resist treatment. There’s a good chance that the two of them have created a romantic identity based around their drug use.
And like the romantic view of criminals like Bonnie and Clyde, this concept is dangerous for the health and well being of both people in a relationship. Romanticizing drug abuse will, unfortunately, create a tighter bond, no matter how much damage occurs between the two. How does this situation arise and how can it be managed? Let’s dig deeper into this scenario to learn more about its influences and how women can escape from the grip of drug abuse and dependency with their romantic partner.
Women Often Try Drugs Because of Their Romantic Partner
Multiple studies have examined why men and women do drugs and have found that abuse often occurs for wildly different reasons. Many men are merely curious about substances or have a risk-taking personality that compels them to try them out. While many women use drugs for the same reason, many more do drugs as a self-medication method or as a way of connecting with their partner.
For example, let’s say a man starts experimenting with heroin out of curiosity and falls in love with it. There is a lengthy period in which he tries to hide it from his wife because he is worried about how she will react. At a certain point, though, his abuse becomes too apparent to hide, and he finally confesses. She is outraged and upset because she can’t believe he would try something so dangerous. However, some of her anger is because he didn’t tell her about it first.
It isn’t that she was interested in trying out heroin or any other type of drugs. Her anger is based on the fact that her romantic partner kept a secret from her for so long, which she feels is a betrayal. And she is right, in a sense. When a person is abusing drugs behind their partner’s back, they are betraying their trust by hurting themselves. Fortunately, there are many different ways a woman can react in this situation. But after listening to what her husband has to say about his drug use, she reaches an unfortunate conclusion.
Instead of condemning him for it or leaving him, she decides to try it out to see why he likes it so much. The effects are immediate, and they scare her with their intensity. If she had tried this drug on her own, she would have never done it again. However, her husband is crying on the floor because she has used it, happy that she now understands the problem which is plaguing his life. Her love for him causes her to make the very misguided decision to continue using with him, believing she is supporting him.
As a result, one person’s addiction has now become a problem for both of them. Instead of seeking out help and getting treatment for his drug abuse, his selfishness and her misplaced sense of loyalty have created an addictive cycle in two people. Sadly, this scenario happens to more women than you might expect and is often a more difficult situation for them because recovery from drug abuse is often harder for women than it is for men.
Drugs May Take a Stronger Hold on Her
To escape from this scenario, the woman in the above section goes to rehab and detox at the same time as her husband. While both have a hard time with their withdrawal symptoms, the replacement medications help alleviate their pain. That said, the woman suffered from more physical pain than her husband. That’s because drugs often affect a woman’s body more severely than they do a man’s.
Even worse, cravings for substances like benzos and Xanax are often more intense on the female body, which can make women even more susceptible to abusing drugs. The differences in male and female biology are the main contributing factors here. A woman’s opioid sensors are typically more sensitive than those of most men. As a result, they are more likely to become addicted to substances like opiates and alcohol.
Even worse, their cravings will be more intense than in men and harder to combat. You may have experienced this situation with a drug as simple as nicotine. For example, let’s say both you and your husband smoked cigarettes for about the same amount of time. You both decide to quit, and he seems to have little trouble with cravings. On the other hand, you are constantly bombarded with nic fits and can’t seem to keep relapsing into your smoking habit.
This scenario is one that often makes relationships based on addiction even harder for women to break out of than men. Let’s say that you and your husband fall into a nasty methamphetamine habit. After a few months, you both realize that it has taken over your life and you want to quit. While it is hard, you finally give it up and start living a sober life. Unfortunately, you experience cravings and relapse hard. And when your husband finds out, he relapses as well.
This scenario shouldn’t be taken to mean that women are the trigger for most relapses. That’s not the case at all. Relapses in drug-based relationships are just as likely to occur because of the male in the relationship. And while this dynamic obviously changes if you date or are married to a woman, the core codependency is still there. No matter what gender you date, drugs can create codependency issues that increase your risk of relapse and make your treatment and recovery complicated processes.
Codependency is Likely to Develop
Codependency is a situation in which romantic partners have developed an emotional need for their partner. They cannot imagine being happy without their partner and base so much of their strength on them. This situation isn’t the usual kind of romantic love and affection couples have for each other but a psychological dependency. This scenario occurs in many abusive relationships and is often hard for those who haven’t been in them to understand. Sadly, this type of situation is often the result of heavy drug use. It creates a partnership that is often very hard to break healthily.
For example, let’s continue the scenario started in previous sections. This husband and wife continue to try rehab but continue to fail because they keep relapsing. Instead of realizing that they are causing this situation by staying together, they instead create an even stronger bond. Both give up to their addiction and focus on feeding it as much as possible. They work hard to find drug connections and pay most of their money to abuse it.
Clear-headed couples who are not codependent would notice how damaging this scenario was for their lives. Unfortunately, these two have created a romantic relationship based almost solely on using heroin. And, in many ways, this situation originated in the woman’s attempt to placate her husband by trying drugs out with him. Again, this doesn’t mean that she is to blame for this situation because both partners are equally at fault here.
Instead, it is a sad example of the different reasons and compulsions that fuel addiction in women. Many are only trying to please their romantic partner, whether male or female, and end up caught in a nasty codependent relationship. And their partner, believing that she is as into drug as they are, works to enhance that bond and to make it stronger and more impossible to escape from than ever.
Getting help for this situation requires commitment from both members of the relationship. They both need to understand that they are in an unhealthy relationship and that they need to eliminate their drug use. Just as importantly, both need to take steps to get the help that they need in a rehab and detox environment. Dual-diagnosis is likely going to be necessary for both in this situation. Without this help, dependency is likely to be a lifelong problem for both.
Treatment Can Help Both Partners
No matter what the scenario, codependency and drug addiction in a romantic relationship are going to hurt both the woman and her husband. Whether you are taking drugs as severe as benzodiazepines, opioids, and methamphetamine or as legal as alcohol and Xanax, help is available. Dual-diagnosis is one of the most critical ways for women like you to get the help that they need.
This treatment method works on multiple levels to create a comprehensive and successful recovery atmosphere. First of all, your anxiety, depression, PTSD, and trauma will be diagnosed by mental health professionals in a gender specific environment. Then, you will go through a period of detox and rehab to break your physical addiction. Replacement medications will be used to beat your dependency on benzos, heroin, cocaine, alcohol, or other types of dangerous drugs.
An approach centered on the needs of a female is often the most essential way to beat addiction successfully. That’s because the unique needs and demands of a woman’s biology can make drug dependency an even tougher to crack than in men. And because so many women take on a caring and nurturing role when they have an addicted husband or boyfriend, they are likely going to either be worried about his recovery more than hers or compelled to use for his sake.
With dual-diagnosis, you can break the bonds of codependency and learn how to gain strength from yourself. Instead of identifying your personality based on a relationship, you can recreate yourself from the ground up. It won’t be an easy process, and it can be painful. However, it will be one that you emerge from as a stronger female. And one who is free from the bonds of substance abuse and with a newfound capacity to live life in a clean and healthy state.
We Can Help You Succeed
If you are a female who is trapped in the grip of PTSD, trauma, anxiety, depression, and addiction, you need high-quality help to recover. Our dual-diagnosis treatment method is designed to help you overcome these issues with care and love. We will help you through a 12 step detox program and then provide you with the gender specific treatment that meets your needs.
For example, we can help your thyroid recover if drugs have upset your hormones. Beyond that, we can also help addicted women who are going through postpartum depression. This mental health problem often causes many women to turn self-medication, such as opiates, alcohol, and even heroin as a way of managing their trauma. With our help, you can break through this danger and get the treatment you need.
So please don’t hesitate to contact us today to kick-start your recovery. Our professionals have years of experience with women like you and know how to break the abusive cycle into which you have fallen. And our male-centered treatment program can help your husband or romantic partner if he is seeking to beat his substance abuse. If he isn’t, you have to do the right thing and leave him. While it will be hard, it is essential to take care of yourself in this dangerous situation.